Monday, July 10, 2006

The Rules

this stuff is common sense to some people. that means this should be easy, right?

starting right now, the following rules are in effect:

FOOD

1. no more fast food

the spirit of this rule is to stop eating shitty fried grease bombs from the fast food outlets you know and love. that jared guy says subway is ok and i believe him. subway is exempt.

2. when thirsty, drink water or diet drinks

this one should be easy. obviously water is the best bet here. i have to have a diet dr pepper every now and then.

3. snacks must be healthy

apples, celery, pretzels, granola bars, rice cakes, cardboard, tree bark, that sort of stuff.

4. eat smaller portions

seriously, put down the second hot pocket. JUST PUT IT DOWN!!! YOU DON'T NEED ONE FUCKING HOT POCKET, MUCH LESS TWO FUCKING HOT POCKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

5. this space reserved for a rule to be followed when going out to bars, tailgating, or other activities related to drinking. this one is going to be hard. i love beer. beer loves me. i want to make love to a bottle of beer. i want to plant my seed in a bottle of beer and spawn half human half beer babies. fuck. i need some time to write this one.

SWEAT

6. go to the gym at least 3 times a week

i need to use my gym membership. i am paying for it. I SHOULD USE IT. the idea is to go 3 mornings a week before work with bonus trips on the weekend.

7. walk for at least 30 minutes every possible day

every evening possible i will go for a walk with my special lady. it's good exercise and it's a good way to have some time to talk each day. i don't think i will ever type "special lady" again. am i 60 years old? do 20-something people even THINK the phrase "special lady"??? and i fucking typed it??????????

8. sign up for things that involve physical activity

sports, volunteering at the food bank, just stay active. things that are recurring are even better because it's more of a commitment, but easier to stick with than one-off things.


wow.
this is going to be a challenge.

5 Comments:

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Anonymous adipex said...

You've create a very hard programme, if you will follow it, success will not keep you waiting

4:13 AM  
Blogger Michael Boyle said...

Nice post. Nice advice. Man, I wish you good luck!

8:56 AM  

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